Classic Interview: Brett Goldstein – 2017
The Ted Lasso Star Before He Was The Ted Lasso Star
Brett Goldstein is one of the big breakout stand-ups/writers in recent years, conquering America by starring in Ted Lasso and playing the lead in the recent romcom Office Romance with Jennifer Lopez. Here’s an interview with him from 2017 when he was still best known in the UK as a gigging comic. But as you can see from the intro he was definitely starting to make inroads into America and acting…
The new series of Ted Lasso comes to Apple TV from August 5.
Brett Goldstein hasn’t done a lot of stand-up lately, but then the sharp, funny comedian/writer/actor has an excuse. He has been busy appearing in lots and lots of TV and films on both sides of the Atlantic. In the last few years his devilishly handsome visage has popped up in shows including movies SuperBob and Adult Life Skills and on TV in Drifters, Uncle and Derek. He also played a character in an HBO pilot, A Lot, inspired by Maureen Dowd’s book Are Men Necessary?: When Sexes Collide.
What is the last thing you do before you go onstage (apart from check your flies and/or check your knickers aren’t sticking out of your skirt and check for spinach between your teeth)?
Pace up and down and remind myself that I am incredibly lucky to do this for a living and that I am living a dream and I should ignore the abject terror that is overtaking my body
2. What irritates you?
Trying to work and realising you have been sucked into a social media vortex for an hour and you hate yourself and say you should leave twitter and facebook and delete all your accounts and turn off the internet and then you never do because ultimately you’re weak and you’re an addict and you should be ashamed of yourself and no wonder everyone hates you.
3. What is the most dangerous thing you have ever done?
Steal a kayak and take it out in a horrendous storm when a beach was closed in an attempt to surf a wave like at the end of Point Break.
4. What is the most stupid thing you have ever done?
Take a film studies course at university thinking I would get to make films and instead spent three years listening to absolute bollocks spouted about the critical nature of film by a load of people who have never made or enjoyed a film in their life. It was my own fault. I should have done a bit more research. To be fair, I should have done some research. Basically, I didn’t do any research. I just saw the word ‘film’ and thought, ‘That’s the one for me!’
5. What has surprised you the most during your career in comedy?
I did expect comedians to be terrible people. And they are. But they’re my terrible people
But seriously. I think the best part of doing this is I get to hang out with the most interesting funny and brilliant people who all have this thing inside that needs to be expressed. I’ve never felt part of any group until I became a comedian. I was surprised how decent and supportive comedians are in the main. Except for xxxx xxxxx of course.
6. What do your parents think of your job?
I’ve never let my parents see me do stand up (because – well – see my shows), as much as they want to, so they think of it as a forbidden fruit that they wish they could be part of.
7. What’s the worst thing about being a comedian?
The worst thing is telling people at parties you’re a comedian because 9 times out of 10 they will be a dickhead and say either: “You? Say something funny then?” or “Are you serious? But you haven’t been funny all night?” or “I’ll come to one of your gigs and heckle you!”
Now I just tell people I’m a plumber. I’ve noticed that people at parties are far less interested in following up the ‘what do you do’ conversation with plumbers. They rarely heckle them or question whether they can actually unclog a pipe. If I met a plumber at a party I would ask them loads of questions. Like ‘how do I stop my sink from overflowing?’ or ‘how do you know the host?’
8. I think you are very good at what you do (that’s why I’m asking these questions). What do you think of you?
I am not a fan. I know some comics who when they are having a bad gig get angry at an audience. I admire that. When I’m dying I tend to think, ‘yeah, your instincts were right.’
9. How much do you earn and how much would you like to earn?
From stand up it depends week to week. Sometimes loads sometimes very little. But all in, I earn enough to pay my bills and see a film at the cinema. I’m quite happy with that and consider myself lucky, but I’d take a bit more money so that I could afford more Revels to go with the popcorn.
10. How important is luck in terms of career success – have you had lucky breaks?
Luck is very important I think. But you do have to have done all the work. I totally believe the ten thousand hours thing. You need to have done your job for ten thousand hours then when the ‘luck’ arrives, you are ready to make the most of it. I think the last pilot I did in the US was down to luck. I think I went into the audition at a certain point in the day when they were so bored of the same old thing that when I walked in and did it with an English accent and completely weirdly I think they were just glad for the change. If I’d walked in a week earlier I think they would have thought I was mad.
11. Alan Davies has said that comedians fall into two categories - golfers and self-harmers. The former just get on with life, the latter are tortured artists. Which are you – or do you think you fit into a third category?
I’m afraid I’m a self-harmer (emotionally, not with knives). Also, golf has always looked so boring to me. It’s basically a very long walk with some people and I’d worry I’d run out of conversation and we’d do seven holes in uncomfortable silence.
12. Who is your favourite person ever and why – not including family or friends or other comedians?
Jim Henson. He was a saint. I think what he did with his work is truly inspirational and magic and perfect and something to aspire to. I love everything he created and it works at whatever age you are at. The Muppet Christmas Carol remains one of the five greatest films ever made and contains the greatest performance of Michael Caine’s career. Jim Henson is also the only idol I have left who hasn’t been revealed to be a paedophile or a rapist. Fingers crossed that continues to be the case.
13. Do you keep your drawers tidy and if not why not? (please think long and hard about this question, it’s to settle an argument with my girlfriend. The future of our relationship could depend on your response).
I’m afraid I don’t. I am so bad that once stuff has been in the tumble dryer, it just stays there and I get dressed from straight out the drum. I have very little interest in clothes and housekeeping to my shame. But I am very clean myself for the record. I shower at least twice a day. Or more. I have OCD. I’ve said too much.