Baby Reindeer – The Must See Series That I Can Barely Watch

Comedian Richard Gadd's chilling Netflix drama is a landmark account of being stalked

When Baby Reindeer started streaming on Netflix some people wrote on social media that they had binged all seven episodes in one evening. I read this with absolute disbelief. Despite the fact that I've been a longtime admirer of the star/writer Richard Gadd and I couldn't wait to see it I've only been able to watch one episode a day. Each episode has left me shaken. Scenes have made me flinch like I've never flinched before. It is not particularly violent yet each instalment feels like a punch in the guts.

For those that don't know yet, Baby Reindeer is comedian Richard Gadd's harrowing account of his experience of being stalked. But it is more complex than that. In the drama Donny (Gadd) has to deal with the fact that maybe he didn't deal with the situation as one might expect, taking six months before he went to the police and even then he didn't see himself as the only victim. He tells the police officer that his stalker needs help. Despite the torrent of abusive emails and even a sexual assault he had sympathy for Martha, played brilliantly by Jessica Gunning. Maybe even empathy.

I'd seen the stage version of Baby Reindeer (Martha's nickname for Donny) at the Edinburgh Fringe in 2019 but that did not prepare me in the slightest for what I saw onscreen. Nothing is simple. I don't think I've ever screamed at a screen so much. It's like a slasher horror film where you try to stop a character going into the darkened room. Except real. As I watched Donny hurtling into an increasingly chilling situation he seemed to be making the wrong move at every stage, Or at least the wrong move. In my eyes anyway. But who know what i would have done. What would you do?

There are rare moments that don't chime. During the flashback fourth episode which gives us more insight into Donny's fragile psyche we see him attempt to crack the Edinburgh Fringe. His gig is nothing like anything I've seen at the Fringe. We never see an act before him or after him. It might be a bleak pub on the very fringe of the Fringe but he seems to have it all to himself.

The irony is that although Gadd portrays Donny as a struggling stand-up his act, even when performed to the proverbial one man and his dog (and even the dog looks unimpressed) he is actually very funny. The gags are snappy and fly thick and fast, the props are enjoyable silly and Donny/Gadd is clearly putting his heart and soul into the performance. Just like Gadd himself did when he won the Edinburgh Comedy Award with Monkey See Monkey Do in 2016 – a groundbreaking landmark show that touches on themes of sexuality and sexual assault that are expanded on here and was performed onstage while literally on a treadmill throughout.

Baby Reindeer is, frankly, too painful to watch for me. I've read that it is based on the true story and names and chronology have been changed, but is even a scintilla of what was see onscreen is true this is a scintlla too much. This makes Fatal Attraction seem like Peppa Pig. Scene after scene is too harrowing, Episode 4 is particularly nightmarish and Martha is barely in it.

You pray for Donny to break away. Or for Martha to lose interest. But he gives her free drinks in the pub where he works. He buys her coffee in a cafe. She may be deluded thinking she is his girlfriend but in a way is he also leading her on?

And just when you think Donny has shaken off Martha she turns up again. In one eerily touching episode she seems to spend all of her time at a bus stop opposite his flat. In the end on a bitterly cold evening Donny takes pity on her and escorts her to her home where he tenderly cares for her, despite what she has been putting him through. Is he in some way complicit because he cares too much?

It's no surprise that Baby Reindeer has made an impact way beyond the comedy world. I haven't reviewed it for my website beyond the joke because despite Donny's career aspirations it's very much not a comedy. Though there are shards of humour in it.

What it most definitely is is a writing and acting tour de force from Gadd. You might as well already start inscribing his name on those awards. Baby Reindeer is a must-see show that I can't bear to see. Every comedian craves attention. Every comedian wants people to watch them – love them even – but never like this.

Baby Reindeer is streaming now on Netflix.

Picture: Netflix